It was one HUGE misunderstanding

So, some of you may know about the story of how Thomas Becket was murdered by some of King Henry's men after a night in France where the King declared "Will no one rid me of this bishop?" Well, ya see heres what really happened..

King Henry II: Guys, I'm bored.

Knight 1: Me too. We could joust!!

Knight 2: LAME. We could pillage!!

Knight 3: IDIOT. We could get some harlots.

-everyone stares-

K3: Nevermind. We could.. play chess..

KH: Cool, but I'm too good fo y'all so get me a great scholar to play

-Some scholar hunting later-

K1: Found one!! Play him.

Scholar: Er.. hi, I'm not a scholar, I'm just a..

K2: Shut up.

KH: Let us do battle.

-begins playing-

KH: Are you guys just gonna stand there all night?! Do something.

K3: But..

KH: GO!!

-grumbling-

Outside the room the 3 knights waited all night. They listened in on the conversation the 2 men were having. The king brought up his former friend Thomas Becket who was now a thorn in his side. The knight then overheard the King shout:

"AHHH!! WILL NO ONE RID ME OF THIS BISHOP!!"

K3:Guys wake up, we've got a mission.

K2: Shut up, and let me sleep.

K1: Yeah, what he said.

K3: But, we have to kill the Bishop of Canterbury.

K1: KILL THE BISHOP ARE YOU MAD?!

K2: Quiet down, lets go I've got a plan.

The men sneak off into the night, taking a boat across the English channel and then riding to Canterbury where they kill the bishop.

Back in France the next day....

KH: GUYS, Where the hell did you guys go?

K2: Oh, we just took care of that bishop for you.

K1: Yeah, the one you told us to rid you of last night.

-Kings face goes white-

KH: I meant the PIECE IN CHESS. NOT THE ACTUAL BISHOP.

K3: Oh, that does make more sense..

K1: It does..

K2: Our bad..

KH: I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

So you see the King never meant to kill the bishop his men just took his orders by mistake thats all. How one little misunderstanding ruined history..

-KCTW

Faith is skin deep

(Disclaimer: I've done absolutely no research on this subject whatsoever and I'm basing this post purely off of my imagination)

The year is sometime during Kievan Russia and it's Yarolslav whatever ruling. But, alas he has no religion. So what's a ruler to do when he's plum out of faith?

Go shopping.

Norse.

Hmm.. this is cool. Lots of gods. War and stuff. Pillaging is nice. But.. hey berserk.. isn't that when the guys got all naked and ran at you swinging axes?? Yeah, I'll have none of my people doing that thankyouverymuch. Next!

Judaism.

Sounds nice. Laws are good. What's circumcision? A type of prayer or something?

-whispers-

YOU WHAT TO YOUR WHAT?!? Nononononononononononono. Next!!

Islam.

Oh this is kinda cool. Check this out. They has their own mini-empire for a while. Portugal. WOW, wonder what that is.. hey, whats this bit here.. they? They.. killed people? And enslaved them? Geez guys. I know that stuff happens but.. THEY HAD AN ARMY?! Okay. Next!!

Christianity.

Nice structure. Nice churches. Nice pictures. Nice god. Nice songs. Ya know what I don't even to to see that bible thinger I think we'll fit in juuuust nice.

I base this off what I learned that when ruling one of the Kievan rulers wanted a faith for his people to follow so he sent out people to different faiths to report back. And, the beauty and I guess prettiness of Christianity drew him in and got him to pick that one to follow. Makes you wonder if man has always been this shallow? 

I kid though.

KCTW

(P.S. My next post is on Astronomical Persecution. Oh boy!!)

How to Start A Church: A series

Yeah, I think this year of Religion will be a crash course on running your own Church. SO I'm gonna spread the love.

Step 1: How do you get members?

LIVE IT! Spread that word by living it. It's like if the people at Colgate said go buy it! It's great. And then it's found out that he uses Crest every night. Hippocrits don't sell.. well churches I guess.

Step 2: Who to let in?

Hm.. guys? girls? Over 18? Over 21? Who to let in. Set your standards and stick to them, or actually your lack thereof standards cause Catholic=Universal aka everyone is welcome.

Step 3: Rules rule.

Now, NOTHING will survive unless there is order. Not like some religions -Pharisees!- where it's like rulesrulesrulesrulesrules more rules than actual.. faith. So set some boundaries like well if you join you can't.. I don't know.. travel to like Pakistan. Rules rule!!

Step 4: Publicity tours.

Saul, to Paul, to Greece. Now, LIVING the word only gets you SO far you have to spread the word by going on a publicity tour. Be like Paul go on tour.. 3 times.. not on foot, but make sure people know you exist. You can't join what you don't know.

That was lesson 1 on running and starting up your own church. Of course this is bypassing the founding of a god or holy book(s) this is the institution of a church itself that divine entity stuff is up to you. YHWH, Spaghetti monster.. you pick.

KCTW

P.S. Oh, this'll be fun.

Welcome!

  So, my whole life it's been. CCD. Church. Communion. The 3 C's of being a Catholic. Christianity's core collective.. yeah no more of that.

I was taught through CCD. I experience through Church. And I experienced through Communion. But, it wasn't until joining a Catholic school did I realize 'I don't know sh*t' Nothing, at all. Everyone is at Mass standing, sitting, bowing and I'm the public school twit being led around like some idiot. That's where History of Salvation I came in. Old Testament- Gospels and damn it, the Bible was pretty interesting. And now I'm in History of Salvation II basically, the history of this church. From 12 guys to 2 billion people. It's pretty cool so far, and I'm hear to speak for the teens of the church who are generally confused, perplexed, and bewildered.

KCTW